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South Thurston County…Hotbed of Unfathomable Stuff

March 11, 2009

And you thought Evergreen College was the center of the evil doer universe. Not anymore!

According to Thurston County Deputy Kyle Kempke, that label now belongs to Rochester and Grand Mound. Evidently, they are full of dirt bag – meth swilling wife beaters. What doesn’t make any sense, is how Tenino failed to make his list. Have you been to Tenino Deputy Kempke?

Kempke and 19 other deputies may lose their jobs due to the dark times better known as…the Bush years. Kempke’s broad brush of white trash painting aside, there are solutions. The Olympic Peninsula is teeming with Border Patrol agents who are on the hunt for terrorists. Being that there are only liberals and about 26 Mexicans on the peninsula, they have nothing but time on their hands. Ask Agent Dyer.

Back to the solution…Olympia and Deputy Kempke’s patrol area are roughly 100 miles from “the border.” That means Thurston County can easily enlist the help of Homeland Security and their Operation Stonegarden. If lady Napolitano luck is on their side, Thurston County might also get to deploy 20 to 30 of the peninsula’s bored Border Patrol agents. I predict after a few weeks of citizen testing checkpoints…the Rochester and Grand Mound area wife beater/meth eater problems will be no more.

There you have it. A solution. South Thurston County will be safe from themselves and the Olympic Peninsula can get back to dealing with terrorists, via selling cheap touristy shit to them.

You’re welcome Thurston County!

  1. March 12, 2009 12:23

    Only problem is – it looks like the area is just outside Norm Dick’s district. He’s the politician that stands up to the Border Patrol. He’s going to rein them in. He represents the people.

    Washington is good sized state. Interesting – we hear very little about Border Patrol checkpoints, roadblocks and bus boardings anywhere in Washington except in Norm Dick’s district.


    • lens1 permalink*
      March 12, 2009 15:51

      Norm is very good at pretend outrage.
      Norm is very, very good, at helping those who help him. Like Boeing, Russell Investments, Boeing, Jeppesen Dataplan, Boeing, the Navy, CIA led wars and Boeing.
      Norm is not very good at being truthful. 40 years in DC will do that to you.

      I don’t think Norm really gives a shit about brown people being hunted, the pretend hunt for terrorists or what a few pissed off people on the peninsula think. There just is not enough money or political capital in it for him to bother.

      Set up a Border Patrol, citizen testing checkpoint, outside Boeing in Everett? You’d see Norm spittin and screaming on TeeVee in a fucking heartbeat. The Blaine Sector would be set back to 1979 manpower levels, jobs would be lost and a few agents would be looking at jail time.

      Of course things like that only happen in dream sequences on the new Knight Rider!


      • Ginger permalink
        March 12, 2009 16:33

        Yep. You pretty much nailed Dicks there. He does put on a bit of a show about the BP, because he knows that there are enough folks upset about this issue that it may just bite him later if he doesn’t.

        But all-in-all Dicks is a venal, lying sack of shit. And that’s on a good day.


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