Be afraid Spokane. Dino is on his way!

Dino Rossi is gearing up for another run at the Governorship of the great state of Washington and will be announcing this bit of news today in Spokane Washington. This Spokane announcement will come several hours after the first announcing of the “news” in Issaquah. Way to go Dino team, you start the day by pointing out to an already overly sensitive Spokane that they remain a distant second to the wet side of the state.

Spokane is a funny place. It has a chip on its large Lilac covered shoulders and obviously your team has already failed you. Not unlike Chelan County and Cary “jet ski” Condotta. Let me offer you semi-solid advice from a Spokanite point of view. I mean really Dino, the way your fans have been reminding us of the stolen election, the more you are aligned with Al Gore and John Kerry. Both of these men have a cock in the stolen election fight. Perhaps you should get advice from them?

So let’s get back to Spokane. You just can’t show up in the “City that Alexie” built, without having a little inside information first.

Spokane is a confused and medicated place. A place of closeted mayors who hate themselves. A once small town by the rail yard turned park with a big clock and gondola ride that still amuses folks from places like Deer Park, Spangle and Medical Lake. There are so many colleges within a short distance; one would think Spokaloo would be damn near a bit brighter. But alas….

Yet Dino, to be fair, Spokane peoples is smart. They know when politicians are telling the truth, or just passing gas. Take for instance Tom Foley, the former Speaker of some House. He knew us. He knew pork. But we smelled trouble and replaced Tom with a former chief of staff lackey for the less than honorable Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska. George “I love term limits” Nethercutt was his name. He is now part of the political lobbying firm of Lundquist, Nethercutt & Griles, LLC ( I smell trouble Dino!.) I introduce Andrew Lundquist. You know Andy yes? He knows Dick Cheney, really, really well. Andy was the Director, nay the Executive Director of the National Energy Policy Development Group. Better known as the Cheney Energy Task Force.

I don’t know Spokane. This smells of another Foley gate… Look up Andrew. Look up Ted Stevens. Alaska. Cheney? Rossi? Nethercutt? We sure is slow. I think that’s what Charles Rowe used to say about us….

Anyway Dino. Do not underestimate the second biggest city in the state. We are very determined if not a tad bit “touched”. In fact we are so determined and “touched” to stay the second largest city in the state; we are willing to annex everything from Airway Heights to western Montana. We will not be impressed or swayed with you and your announcements.

We will be swayed by yet another Sherman Alexie book and his fry bread references. Randy Shaw and Debra Wilde! That’s who gets us swaying.

So Afton Swift will your man Dino distance himself from the current Republican problems? As a Republican you no doubt support your friend George W and his wars. You support signing statements that strip sleepy uncaring Spokanites of their rights. You hate Iran. You want to bomb them into Christianity. You think torturing people to death is one of our founding fathers best ideas. You want to be the Governor of Washington State. You want to be THE republican of Washington State.

Sure Dino will not want to talk about those issues. He hopes those particular issues mean nothing to Spokane. He hopes you will think of these issues as a Federal problem, not one that affects Spokane. As an added bonus, Dino will not talk about The Forward Washington Foundation either. Just ask him.

Well Spokane, I hope you have grown recently. You have been played for slow witted uncaring “eastsiders” for years by the westsiders and local people like the Cowles and Nethercutts. Ask Dino some hard questions, think for yourselves eh? Dino thinks you are a sure thing. Surprise him!

Like a Tom Grant run for mayoral glory, I bid this Spokane fest…..adieu.