A 24 million year old sea star fossil was found, Dick Cheney is offended by the torture probe, Democratic Senator Dianne Feinstein agrees with the Dick, Liberty University set up a snow-less ski hill and Jenna Bush is now a NBC News Correspondent for the Today Show.
Even better!? Tomorrow is Constitution Free Tuesday! Just try and hold on to those amendments!
No Glenn Beck is not in Wenatchee…but I am!
Sure it’s that bad here.
Back at it soon…be vigilant.
President Obama and the obedient media are not the only out of towners, in town right now.
Cindy Sheehan is also in Martha’s Vineyard to remind Obama that while some of us can appreciate the fact that he did not start the occupations, she would like to ask him the same question she asked of Bush. “What noble cause are you continuing them for?”
While there will not be thousands of activists at the Vineyard with Cindy, you will see some Veterans for Peace and Camp Casey friends there.
The rest of the anti-war/pretend peace loving Democrat types, went home in January with their UFPJ’s, The Nation, AFSC, MoveOn.orgers and the Green Party…and have not been heard from or seen since.
Although to be fair, the missing sedated lefties do drive some sassy sticker plastered hybrids!
The best solution to our problems? We the semi sane people rise up, get rid of Congress, the Pentagon, CIA, Supreme Court and the White House. Start over with new pretend elections with the exception of Al Franken. He can stay and run everything until the new
pretend elections.
To get things rolling, I nominate Salma Hayek as our new Commander in Chief and Arnold Schwarzenegger to be the czar of the newly combined positions of Secretary of Defense and Director of Homeland Security. We’ll just call him the Terminator to make it easier for the
masses to digest.
There you go, all our problems solved with change most of us can
get behind.
Besides, Salma and Arnold are easy on the eyes…and come on, they just could not fuck things up any worse than those who’ve ruled in the last 100 years or so.
Health baggers fear powerful Dicks. How do I know? Because secret government surveillance tells us so. There is always an upside to illegal surveillance of closeted, self loathing health baggers. I take back everything I’ve ever said about the NSA!
For a fantastic example of closeted health baggers who fear powerful Dicks, go check out this stupid article on Rep. Norm Dicks and his about face on health scare town hall meetings.
Steven Gardner of the Fishwrap from Kitsap, starts off his article with this observation, substance over shouting seems possible…you can then skip the rest of the article, because it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. But the comments at the end of said letters on a page put together to form words? Priceless.
You can read about abortion, death panels, the poor poor insurance corporations, powerful Dicks, repressed sexual urges, religion, Republicans vs. Democrats, the Hitleresque black man in their White House…which by the way, is what this is all about.
The lesson taken away from this article of health and Dicks? Killing granny via the black man in the White House is much, much worse than say, a decade of fake war in two far away places, American family torture values and or the illegal surveillance of Bremerton, Washington closeted conservatives.
Dicks the powerful by the way, is more than happy to discuss health scare, Boeing or the environment…because powerful Dicks do not like to discuss their involvement in torture, war or the Taliban/Mujahideen.
So our beer drinking Muslim friend Kartika’s caning has been put off, to allow for the passage of Ramadan, better known as the Islamic holy month of fasting. Because you know…punishing women for beer drinking by beating them with a cane just can’t happen during Ramadan.
Just imagine if Kartika had been behaving like most of the good Catholic girls I’ve met here in American bars, meth houses and strip clubs…or if she were killing Muslims and other brown folks like Hillary and Condoleeza? I shudder to think what Shariah law would have in store for Kartika.
Here in America, rich murderers for Jesus are powerful politicians or Fox News corespondents. Meth, marijuana and beer using women are Walmart shoppers, destined to spend several years in prison.
Or worse yet, our beer drinking women are forced to stay home, raise children, watch Fox News, shop at Walmart and then vote for politicians who want to kill brown humans throughout the world.
In other news, Iran is looking to expose Americas penchant for torture and war crimes…because Obama is busy with health care and stuff.
It all makes perfect sense.
9 GOP Senators sent a strongly worded letter urging AG Holder to ignore his urge to enforce the law. Because torture is a time honored American institution. Look it up gabacho.
Torture! It’s as American as apple pie, baseball and herpes.
Senators Bond, Sessions, Kyl, Chambliss, Cornyn, Coburn, Hatch, Grassley and Burr are obviously complicit liars, who need to get their GOP groove on at the C Street Brothel.
Meanwhile, former real life intelligence types who have hundreds of torture free interrogations under their belts say… fuck these GOP clowns. Torture is torture, we are guilty and there are a shit load of war criminals walking around and sitting next to you at Starbucks.
Hence the new Starbucks pricing structure?
As we all know, stupid is as stupid does. Stupid don’t just grow on trees, it runs in families, political persuasions and certain parts of the country. Some say stupid is added to our daily lives in the form of fluoride, mercury, NASCAR and yellow cheese.
I’d say ‘hall lay loo yuh,’ but I can’t spell it.
Proving that stupid is more contagious than the Swine Flu, I give you Congressman Wally Herger and his harem of fluoride infected followers.
The place, northern California. Yet another fake health care debate. The room, filled with stupid. Wally the stupid Republican Congressman said, “Our democracy has never been threatened as much as it is today,” in reference to the proposed scary fake health care changes. The room cheers! Stupid mercury infected white man, who believes he can trace his ancestry back to the Mayflower…stands up and says,”I am a proud right-wing terrorist!” And the crowd cheers! Congressman Wally retorts, “Amen, God bless you. There is a great American.” This of course was followed by more cheers, a collective white orgasm with fainting and folks speaking in tongues thrown in to make things even stupider.
Obviously we need a few FEMA camps set up in northern California. Like yesterday.
My question to Homeland Security and Janet Napolitano would be, what the fuck are you waiting for? Oxycontin carrying Mexicans? Marijuana smoking cancer patients? Terrorist Salal pickers in Quilcene, Washington?
Oops my bad! That’s exactly what Homeland is doing.
Manic CIA Monday will bring more revelations that will shine even more light on the agency. The light of day and or redacted truthiness on this particular agency, is never a good thing. Light tends to remind the rest of the world that America is really nothing at all as advertised.
Damn! All those years of super cool, covert spy ops and other fun filled missions of death and torture meant nothing. Stupid contractors and stupid politicians always fuck you freedom hating fighters up. FUBAR fellas…FUBAR!
You’d think a few agency types would have learned this by now.
As Manic CIA Monday fast approaches, I would be a C Street fornicating Family Member, if I were to not mention the Bangles song as it relates to the agency. Please…as if.
But I will ask this, if you’re 555 then I’m 666…whats it like to be a heretic…fellas?
