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A Natural Progression

January 3, 2012

After sleepy, the natural progression for many of we the Patriot Acted…is to circle the wagons and vote for who you think might be the lesser of about 15 different evils.

Maintaining the empire sure ain’t easy!

The original evildoers used to be known as anyone John Wayne pretended to murder.  Now they’re known as Iran.  Lined up just behind Iran are the humans who live in Yemen, Vietghanistan, Somalia, Mexico, Spencer Ackerman’s Pakistan, Central and South America, North Korea, Russia, China, Asotin, Washington, the relatives of the 9/11 victims, your school district, and We the Patriot Acted/NDAA’d…along with the remnants of Iraq and anyplace else ever mentioned by Chuck Norris.

Obviously, Chuck Norris doesn’t know shit about the Keystone XL Pipeline.  And I’m willing to gamble that most of us know as much about pipeline safety and profit margins…as Todd Palin is a fan of Michigan basketball.

Combining Chuck and Todd’s knowledge of pipeline safety and the Constitution, leads us to John Yoo – and his knowledge of Glen Rice.

John Yoo may not know much about Glen Rice, but John sure as hell thinks we should be attacking Iran.  Like six years ago.

Normally, I’d say that this just might be a good time to start worrying about something other than voting.  2009 in Iran, saw three million humans hit the streets to protest their votes not being counted.  Just yesterday, here in the Homeland – about 256 million of us rolled over and farted on our spouses.

Oh the natural progression!

In a semi-decent world, our natural progression would lead us to use Guantanamo for criminals like John Yoo and Liz Cheney.  As it is, we can barely evolve past how much butter to fry our Hormel laden
SPAM in.

I guess it’d be swell if we had 2/16’s the natural progression that those 3 million protesting Iranian humans had.  But, one shouldn’t argue the logic behind blaming Ralph Nader and Katie Couric…for the knowledge of Chuck Norris and Todd’s Palin.

Perhaps I could talk a Koch brother into financing my desire to just drink away the remainder of our NDAA days?  Rendition me to the Mala Ocean Tavern in Maui, where Al Yankovic, Steven Tyler and Alice Cooper can serenade me and mines…until we could care less.

See below for more.  Or see above for less.

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