Why Don’t We Drone Greenland?

Photo by Chris Hondros

Why don’t we drone Ireland, England or Sweden?  Perhaps Denmark or Maine?

We will when the water wars start, but for now, the drone wars are reserved for the dark-skinned humans who live nearby oil, China and or hate us for our Old Navy stores.

If you speak Spanish and live near our Homeland-wide Constitution Free Zone, you’ll be droned as well.

If you’re a gay marriage activist or an anti-war/anti-two party patriot…you’re probably being droned too.

Let’s say you think Islam is scary and burning the Koran in Michigan, is just another way for you to embarrass Florida.  Then you’re the idiot pastor Terry Jones…who is not being droned, but did almost shoot himself in the foot.  Literally.

Maybe you’re Bradley Manning.  You’ve told the world about your Homeland’s illegal and immoral crimes against the humans who dwell near oil and or China…you’re not being droned, but you are being Obama’d.

You’re Eric Holder.  The AG of the glorious Department of Justice, for the equally glorious Homeland.  You enforce our laws as you see fit, because marijuana is a terrorist weed, which is somehow worse for us than BP’s dead Gulf of Mexico…Wall Street, K Street or Obama’s never-ending wars on the dark-skinned humans for Boeing.  Because Boeing needs tax breaks and you’re SOL.

Twitter tells me that the DOJ has yet to be droned.   Perhaps this is why they prosecute us and not Rumsfeld?

Lets say you’re the President.  You’ve told so many half-truths, lies and covered up for Bush, Wall Street, K Street and BP…that when you told us you’re going to have Eric Holder investigate price gouging at the gas pump…you were able to do so without stuttering.

You sir, are indeed the better Bush!

President Obama hasn’t been droned, but he did get heckled just before sending the drones to Libya.  Because…they’re dark-skinned humans who could befriend China and probably live near oil…all the while hating us for the cheap shorts available at Old Navy.

Sure it’s confusing.  But at least you now know why we aren’t
droning Greenland.

It’s Friday.  Enjoy your cheap shorts and don’t look up.