News You Should Ignore

August 16, 2010

Money and blow jobs make the world go round.

Hand jobs and gay politicians get schools built, wars lost and Rush Limbaugh married.

General Petraeus is currently selling the wars and torture for Boeing, by performing fellatio on David Gregory. David is a tall man, the general is not. Meet the Press!!…“because getting a blow job is so much easier than giving one!”

You should also ignore the reason Mexican drug warlords are killing with CIA impunity. It’s because the Canadian drug warlords still find Bob and Doug McKenzie somewhat funny. Eh.

Forget that your troop supporting fuel purchases cost far more than 3 dollars a gallon. Giggle a little, because the best jobs available in sunny Arizona and slow speaking Texas, are in the Army.

Do not retain the main reason blow jobs fail to work on Teabangers. It’s because many of the older bangers were subjected to the CIA’s Dr. Lauretta Bender as baby bangers.

But do keep in mind, that all neuropsychiatric/psycho psychiatrists work for the CIA and that a vote for Norm Dicks, is like giving Dino Rossi a blow job while Palin’s Didier watches…from his Socialist powered wheat fields.