Thank God for Tiger’s Penis
Tiger and his penis are back! Thank you Tiger’s penis! Thank you!
Otherwise we’d have to like, pay attention to other stuff.
Jesus Tiger, I can lie better than Ari “war criminal” Fleischer. I’m bigger, better looking and I’d fix your hypocritical white folksy image for you, for a fraction of the cost.
Think of me as a middle class image re-builder. A Kmart Blue Light Special if you will…
Now that the penis is back, this will certainly help middle America to ignore the upcoming Iraq Fake War anniversary.
As bizarre as it sounds, the return of Tiger’s penis will calm a large percentage of the Teabaggers down. It actually makes perfect sense, when one thinks real hard…
The return of the Woods member, will uplift the spirits of a million high fivin white guys.
No one will remember what Tiger’s penis used to stand for, we’ll just know that it now stands for freedom. Thanks Ari.
No one will read about President Obama threatening to veto intelligence funding, because poking around in the business of the terrorist organizations of the Homeland…is indeed, not very intelligent. Nor does it have anything to do with the return of Tiger’s penis.
The year-long fake battle over the redistribution of wealth for the insurance companies and their receptive Democrat and Republican counterparts, better known as the Health Scare!…is almost over. Once the Teabaggers and “Progressive Democrats” learn that Tiger and his titanium deep faced head, pear-shaped, Titleist 975D driver, with a bore through shaft, subtle gray finish and it’s deceiving size are back…well…
Need I say anything more? Wink wink, nudge nudge?
Tiger’s massive comeback notwithstanding…if only someone had warned us about the fake wars, torture, job losses, the failing economy, the war criminals in the White House, health care profits and the lying politicians of both hilariously corrupt parties!??
If only.
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The Vigilant Lens 
From a purely political conspiracy point of view, you could look at Tiger’s penis as a contrived distraction. How horribly amusing that the Democrats might conceive to perpetrate such a deception. How ironic that they would would be tactful enough to draw the public’s eye with a scandal while the Republicans must blow up two entire sky scrapers.
Someone should really make a movie about the two comparisons. Perhaps even use the same actors to play the “special operatives” in charge of such subtle initiatives.
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Indeed writerdood, indeed.
Political curiosity of the distracting penis, especially black ones, has been mishandled by the inept groping of the powers that be for centuries.
I hesitate to dig much deeper into the penis distraction, for fear that what we both seem to be alluding to…ain’t all that far from the truth. How pathetic is that?
Thanks writerdood
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I blame the end of times on blog spamming penis lovers like yourself…not that there’s anything wrong with that. Except for the whole end of times thing.
“Thanks” for everything.
The Vigilant Lens
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