The Cucolo Back Door Draft

'this is your weapon...this is your gun, son'

Meet Maj. General Anthony Cucolo III.  He hates our enemies and he also hates pregnancies.

Since the General has lost the pretend war on Iraq’s WMD’s and dead Saddam is still dead, General Cucolo is bored out of his mind.  So he has decided to fight the insurgency of pregnancies in your U.S. Army instead.

The general has banned them.

That’s right, no one on Anthony’s watch will get pregnant.  If they do, the impregnated and the impregnator, could face a court-martial and jail time.

Sure General Cucolo is dealing with some psychological issues.  They don’t call him cuckoo-low just for shits and giggles…
In the generals defense, most 0’s above a butter bar tend to be bed wetters and social misfits, so the general is in good company.

I’m sure the general needs solutions.  Answers, not more questions.

As a former NCO type, I’ve got your answers right here Anthony.  Wave that magical wand of yours and ban the war.  Any troop caught fighting would face a trip home, the VA healthcare system and the Bush/Obama depression.

And while you’re in the wand waving mode of banning shit, Anthony, why not rid us of the CIA, Senator Liebermann and the other pretend war on our Afghan opium producers.  Ban em all general!

Give me a call Anthony.  I’ve got some other ideas for you as well.