The Columbia River…Fireproof

And not just because it’s wet. Said wetness is rife with the flame retardant PBDE. The river is also a toxic stew of awesomeness with ingredients like PCB’s, DDT, mercury, arsenic, lead and as luck would have it…leeching groundwater plumes of Hanford radioactive death juice.

After yet one more study of shit everyone already knows, the EPA has decided that having all of these toxins in the river, is bad. Elin Miller, our region’s EPA Administrator had this to say, “This is troubling news. Today’s report shows that toxics are found throughout the basin at levels that could harm people, fish, and wildlife. Tackling this problem will require a coordinated effort by all levels of government, tribes, interest groups and the public.”

Thanks Elin, and good luck with that coordinated effort thing. I admire the work some of the folks in the EPA have been trying to accomplish. Their fight with Teck Cominco to clean up Lake Roosevelt is a great example. Teck “won” that battle, but who’s counting.

Unfortunately, companies like Teck Cominco, who have been dumping their “heavy metal slag” into the river for 100 years…really don’t care. Sure I’m aware that Teck was suckling at the Bush Administration’s “teat of no consequences,” but Teck Cominco is far from the only uncaring polluter or political administration to have taken a dump in the once mighty Columbia River.

Us caring polluters play a role as well. I do not drive a vehicle that runs on organically grown grape seed skins, I have used a chemical or two, bought my apples from Wenatchee, and pissed in the river more than once, at parties and pig roasts on the beach in Vancouver.

The solution? I’d say write your Congress human, but we all know that’s an exercise in futility. As proof, look no further than the last 8 years of inept Congressional acquiescence. Iraq, Afghanistan, the economy, Gaza, Sarah Palin, torture, Sarah Palin, Enron, bailouts, Hanford and the polluted river itself.

The chances for a Columbia River bailout? I don’t know, ask Bank of America.

For more reading on the fireproof river, try this, this, even this and Christopher Swain. He swam the entire length of the river in 2002, to help build awareness of the Columbia’s troubles.