The Battle for Forks

In a stunning rebuke of the Border Patrol and the Department of the Glorious Homeland, The Washington State Patrol started what can only be described as a mini “border skirmish.”

Some background for those of you out of the loop, go here.

The State Patrol sent it’s tiny and often ridiculed, Commercial Vehicle Division out to Forks, to show the Fed’s how to get shit done. Armed with only two retired secretaries, a latte stand with a topless barista used as bait, one Park Ranger from Bogachiel and 17 illegal immigrants dressed as Pancho Villa… What? You didn’t know the WSP had a sense of humor?

The result? 31 traffic infractions, 11 semi’s taken out of service for brakes, loads, height, tires, drivers with revoked CDL’s, expired medical cards and one felony hit. Terrorists did not make an appearance. Evidently, they were all in Minneapolis/St Paul.

When contacted for comment, Troopers and CVEO’s had this to say about the Border Patrol and their tactics, “go back to the border, you trunk checking racial profilers” and “take your stupid green and white vehicles with you.”

Now that’s what I’m talkin about.