War on Florists

See, I knew there was an explanation. The Border Patrol is not really looking for terrorists in Forks or the Port Townsend area. It was the illegal trade of Salal. Apparently, La Migra finally “caught wind” of the massive black market trade in Salal.

You see, the florists of America have been getting their Salal from Mexicans without passports, for far too long. The good people of Mason, Jefferson and Clallam Counties, have been forced to take up Meth farming and lawn mower racing, just to make ends meet. I blame Democrats, Mexicans and the Florists.

This is America, you cheap ass floral arrangers. Buy your Salal from Secretary Chertoff’s list of approved Chinese Salal brokers, like the rest of us….you sedition practicing, Pansy placers make me sick.

Thank you Homeland Security. Thank you agent Bermudez. You are truly shining stars in the regime…